Thursday, August 16, 2012

Reflecting over the past year

The best and most challenging year of my life has come and is almost gone. My heart aches to see phases go but rejoices when new ones come. Having Summer has taught me more than anything I have ever learned or done. I am ashamed to say that at times I would wish time away or that it would move faster when nights (or days) were long and hard. Now I search every corner in my mind trying to remember as many memories I can with my new first born baby.
She is growing and for that I am thankful. I try not to say that I wish she was still small or that I wish she would stop growing because I am so blessed to be able to see her change everyday. She is smart, stubborn, and patient. We recently took a 3.5 hour plan ride together just me and her. I was nervous about how it would go. She sat in my lap the whole time like a perfect little lady. I know it won't be like this every time but I was so grateful for her patience with me and the journey. I hope our life as mother and daughter is like that.
She is nothing that I expected. She looks nothing like I expected. She is more! I never would have guessed her hair would be the color it is or that her eyes would be huge like her Dad's and the color of blueberries one day and lighter than the sky on other days. Never would I have guessed that her little legs would be so dainty and skinny. Heavenly Father knew exactly how she would look and she is perfect! I marvel at her beauty and energy. She is careful and not to adventurous but when she puts her mind to something she goes all the way with it. I hope she always is like that. I am one to start and quite projects or ideas very quickly. I hope she is like her father and never gives up and goes after her dreams.
I don't remember holding her for the first time. That makes me sad. I was still recovering from the idea of having a c-section and the pain meds really affected me I guess. I remember not believing my eyes when I woke up with her laying next to me. She was so strong and alert. These words seem weak compared to what is being said in my heart about this baby. I love her.
Happy Birthday my darling girl!







6 comments:

Amy said...

I love this. What a sweet post to your darling daughter. Happy Birthday, Summer!

Jen said...

Awwww I totally got teary reading that! It seems like just the other day we came to see you at Mills. I held that beautiful little ball of summer sunshine in my arms, and marveled at how quickly you were recovering and easing into your new role as a mom! We miss you!!
Happy Birthday sweet Summer!! =)

Kiera said...

What a great post! Happy birthday Summer!

Larsen's said...

She has grown so much!

For me, I think the thing I have had the hardest time with is not that time went by fast, but that sometimes I have a hard time remembering my kids when they were little. I look at pictures and think, "wow, were they ever that small? I can hardly remember that!" It's kind of sad.

So, I guess I am trying to say to really savoir the moments you have, which it looks like you are doing! :)

Mindy said...

You are such a cute and good Mom Sierra. Summer is adorable. I love her little smile (usually not at me).

Bekka said...

Happy Birthday to sweet Summer. A year is huge. I loved reading all of your thoughts on the past year. You are a wonderful mother and the joy of it all radiates from you.